So I'm finding that I have more free time lately.
Will and I decided to start officially sleep training Marshall on Monday (3 nights ago). I've been feeling really guilty about his terrible sleep habits for a while now, and it seemed like the natural next step. His sleep habits were really not that awful, except that he wouldn't nap easily and I from day one I have always held him until he falls asleep at night. This wasn't a problem, as I LOVE holding him to go to sleep, and I love holding him during his naps - but holding him for every nap on the weekends was becoming a problem (took up a lot of time) .... and the fact that he has been waking every night for 1.5-2 hours in the wee morning hours has been a problem, because he doesn't know how to go back to sleep on his own. He's been teething (his fourth tooth is just now popping through) and everything combined has been making me feel guilty that I am stunting his development by making him rely on me so much for sleep.
We are also concerned, because of the prospect of another child down the road (like, really far down the road) is concerning. I don't want to end up with a toddler who needs rocked to sleep, and therefore doesn't have a regular sleep schedule because the newborn makes it difficult for the toddler to be rocked to sleep all the time (I know a lot of parents in this exact situation). I know the longer I wait to get Marshall to learn to sleep on his own, the harder it will be (and the more painful for both of us).
Well, all this contemplating and guilt has added up to be for nothing.
Night #1: Marshall babbled in his crib for 10 minutes, and fell asleep.
Night #2: After putting M in his crib, he cried for 5-10 seconds as soon as I shut the door, then I never heard another peep. I went in 10 minutes later to see that he was already passed out.
Night #3: M goes into his crib. I shut the door and leave to go fill his humidifier, and I come back (like 1 minute later) to see him fast asleep.
I should also mention that he has slept through the night for the past 3 nights. I really hope this isn't a fluke.
This is where I come into play. Marshall has been asleep at 7pm the last 3 nights. I put him down, and think .... 'well, what now?'. I am not one to clean at night (besides picking up the living room/kitchen - easy). I do all my cleaning on the weekends. I workout during lunch (I can't workout at night because I'll never fall asleep). Will and I watch a lot of tv, and now I'm getting bored with tv. I guess its time for me to pick up sewing and knitting again!
This new phase of an older baby is definitely bittersweet. I'm happy Marshall is sleeping so well on his own and hasn't even had to cry-it-out yet, but I'm sad I'm having to give up my evening ritual of holding my child until he falls asleep.
Is this how parenthood is? As they get older, you realize they don't need you as much as you want them to. Very bittersweet.
2 comments:
Good for him doing so well! It's awful, the whole independence thing! I watch tv, read a book, sew, And sometimes even clean after Evie falls asleep.
Yes, Peggy. Parenthood is bittersweet. But take comfort in the fact that clearly you are a capable and loving mother who is helping your son develop into the (future) wonderful man he will be.
Sometimes it's easy to miss my boys when they were little, when they would snuggle (although they have been more apt to do this while sick, recently), but I can also relish in seeing them accomplish things like learning to read a new word, having them give me a paper that says 'I love mom'-- written all by themself, learning how to jump off the floor with two feet.... it all makes me happy to see their success in being independant, and THAT is something to smile about.
Way to go M on the great sleeping schedule!
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